SOPHIE WATCHES: Humans, 1.02 & 1.03 (2015)

Continuing on from the first episode, I sent my friend, R (Tumblr), my live reactions as I watched the first season of Channel 4’s Humans.  Beware: spoilers ensue.


[Episode 1.02]

The second episode starts with Laura waking and checking on Sophie who is back in her bed!

This kid’s packed lunch has my favourite Waitrose yoghurt in it.

Old Dr Millican dude (the old American guy) was forced to accept a new medical android model so he’s trying to keep his malfunctioning one hidden.  Except it started tapping on the window so he had to fake sudden pain so that the new android was distracted and would examine him.

Okay so the teenage girl and her friend kidnapped a janitor android at school and she’s hacking into it so that they can be hidden secondary users and tell it what to do.  Her friend told her “you’re like a sexy terrorist” and then he tried to kiss her and unsurprisingly she totally curved him.

The hacking didn’t work and the android is now walking around with a binbag on its head and is trying to notify the school board!

I’m rooting for the old dude.

It turns out he helped design the original androids.

Good.  A+

He really doesn’t like his new android.  He says it’s more of a jailer than a carer.  It reports everything minor to the health service which is its primary user.

I want to watch this now but only this guy’s storyline.

He’s not happy because it touched him without permission when it woke up and found him in an “improper environment” which was actually just his garden.

Wow, what an anal android.  It reminds me of [work-related anecdote I probably shouldn’t repeat]

This teenage boy is obsessed with Anita and just went to grope her boob and she said “inappropriate physical conduct from secondary users must be reported to a primary user”.

Ha.  I love it.

This kid is freaking out that his parents will found out he tried to touch android boob.

He should.  Freak out I mean.

He’s so lame.  Like his dad.  He started walking away then turned around and was like “why’d they have to make you so fit.”  Cringe.

Control thyself, child.

I’ve only just paid attention to the decor in Niska’s brothel pod.
1.02 Niska

Pod?! ‘Brothel pod’.  What a phrase.

Well, I suppose it’s a room.

I know brothel caravans exist.

I expect they don’t have as much space for shelves and shelves of dildos and vibrators.

Probably not.

Ugh.  This old guy in there with her has a fucked up fantasy.  He wants her to act scared and be young.  I want to rescue Niska.

Better an android than a child, I guess.  Poor Niska.  Can’t old American dude just rescue all the androids and turn them into an army?

Ohhhhh Niska rebelled.  She refused.  And he got angry about it because he paid £100, so she choked him to death.  Niska is my hero.

I realised I’ve been assigning gender to her but not the malfunctioning android.  Mainly because I don’t know his name.  Niska’s going to be in trouble now though.

It is a robot and humans assign gender naturally, it’s okay.  The robots do not care.

I know, I just think it’s interesting how I was more protective of her to the extent that I was gendering her.

Anyway, she is my hero.  She put on a trench coat, picked up a hidden blue book, used the man’s still warm hand to unlock the door and marched out.  The pimp lady stood no chance.  She fainted when Niska cut herself open to take out some device in her neck.  Yes Niska! Be free!

That is interesting! Come here already and let’s discuss gender assignation; I find it a really fascinating topic.  Also, I am too attached to the malfunctioning robot.

I think it says more about me caring more about women, ha ha.  I’m just following the genders the show has already assigned.

Fair enough, I think I tend to care more about men? I wonder where that comes from.  I think it’s more than The Patriarchy.  Hmmm.

Weird.  I’ve always felt very protective of women ha ha.

Wtf, I thought Merlin dude was human but he has wires in his wound.  Another android is recharging him in a porta-loo.

Ooh.  ‘Recharging’, eh?

He took the wiring out of a light fitting and attached it to one of the wires sticking out of the wound.  So Merlin is an android?

Cyborg?

Who knows.

Anita just lied to Laura about taking Sophie out for a late night wander.

Anita is my homegirl.  Loves the moon and kids.  Perfect.

She just said she “will always keep Sophie safe”.

Oh eeeep.

Laura is phoning the helpline like ‘my synth is creeping me out’.

I dislike this show encouraging such reactive and distrustful behaviour.

Ooooohhhhh.  Sophie is scared after a nightmare and threw her arms around Anita and demanded a cuddle.

Yeah! IN YOUR FACE, LAURA!

But Anita cannot touch anyone without permission from a primary user.  But Sophie insisted.  And so Anita put her arms around her! Even though she’s programmed not to!

Yep, she’s perfect.  I say, having seen nothing, ha ha.

She is though.  Whatever her horrible submerged car memory is of, she doesn’t want it to happen again.  Anyway, Laura is about to take her back [to the retailer].

[Episode 1.03]

The teenage boy is stupid and was upset about Anita being taken back so he cycled really fast and was about to get run over by a van driver but Anita got out of Laura’s car and stood in the van’s path and got hit by it instead.

Merlin android is trying to drink to forget stuff.

Niska is on the run trying to disguise herself.

When androids meet each other they do this thing where they share data wirelessly.  But with the conscious androids, that doesn’t happen.  So this android just turned to look at Niska and said “why don’t you share?”, sounding really confused, ha ha.

Niska is just wandering around this shopping centre, recharging, lifting clothes, watching girls kissing.

The old American dude tricked his jailer synth into a room and locked her in there so that he can return to his beloved malfunctioning android.

Oh my God, the health service android broke down the door and so they’re trying to escape in his old car.  They all move really slowly but it’s somehow really tense ha ha.

Awww, he made sure that his android wore a seatbelt.

I love him.  And his android.  This is amazing.

The health service android just came outside to tell him how unsafe it was and he drove away.

Omg, so Anita needs to be inspected for insurance purposes after getting hit by the van so the dad has taken her into the garage so there’s not an audience but this fucking boy who almost just died in a car accident is sneaking out and trying to peep some android boob.

Do they not have the internet? Boob is plentiful.

He’s such fail.  Meanwhile the dad is just really weirded out.  And Laura has been left to wheel home the bicycle.

This reporter actually said ‘sex worker’!

Niska has found Merlin and his android friend but only came to say goodbye to them.  She’s angry that he left her in the brothel.  And I don’t think Merlin is a proper android.

Old Dr Millican dude has gone for a nice drive in the woods with his malfunctioning android, with some soft bluesy music playing on the stereo.  He’s loving it, so happy with his decision.

Omg, poor malfunctioning android.  Dr Millican said he wanted some ice cream so the android thought he meant right then and opened the car door and started getting out … whilst driving.

They started veering everywhere.

So the malfunctioning android, who is called Odi, crashed the car.

Dr Millican told Odi to run and hide in the woods so that he wouldn’t be discovered, so he had to leave his beloved malfunctioning android in the woods.

Noes, his android is alone in the woods!

Niska continues to give me life.

She went to a pub and the bartender asked what she wanted and she said “whatever you think a girl like me would drink” because she doesn’t know and is trying to figure herself out.  She’s so cute.

Then some City guy hit on her.  So she went back to his place and she couldn’t understand why he wanted to chat with her instead of just having sex straight away.  Then she saw hair ties in the bathroom, so she thought he was about to cheat on someone.  So she picked up a huge knife and presumably was going to kill him.  But when she found him he was tidying up kids’ toys and apologised for the mess because he had had his daughter over for the weekend.

So she put down the knife and just left.

Aw.  Okay, I love her too. 


Episode 1.03 must have been very engrossing, as I seemed to neglect mentioning a lot of plot-points to R! This episode featured a lot of beautiful Anita/Mia moments, including Anita convincing Sophie to let her mum read her bedtime story.  Was Niska really about to kill the City guy? Should Dr Millican have left Odi alone in the forest? Discuss in the comments!

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