I got ahead of myself and watched a couple of episodes of Humans without constantly messaging R about it (it was late, she was sleeping, I’m a good friend). But of course I later caught her up on what she had missed, reproduced here for your delectation and delight. As always, spoilers abound.
Okay, I’m mid-way through episode 6 now, so I’ll recap 4 and 5 for you. I discovered that the Merlin guy, whose name is Leo, is actually the son of the man who created the androids. He was thought to have died when he was 13 but his father secretly saved his life by – you guessed right – making him part machine. So yes he is a cyborg.
Woo, cyborg call!
Also, Fail Dad was mopey so he initiated Anita’s adult mode and had ‘sex’ with her whilst Laura was out investigating something and their kids were at a party.
Although at the party there was an awesome moment with the teenage daughter, Mattie. Some boys were ‘joking around’ about ‘having a go’ with an android that was serving them drinks and they deactivated it so it couldn’t stop them. And Mattie stopped them, all “is assaulting an unconscious woman really a standard party activity for you?”
This lame-ass boy retorted “she’s not an actual woman” and straight away she fired back “so why’d’ya wanna put your dick in her?” and it was so good.
Oh God and her brother … well, some girl at the party started making moves on him but he was like “I like somebody else!” and yes he was thinking of Anita the android.
Anyway, Laura took Anita in for a diagnostic and they found out that she is actually 14 years old, not 2 months.
Meanwhile, Niska went to a sort of fight club where humans pay to beat up androids and she paid and chose a softball bat and then beat up all the humans!
Niska is so clearly capable. Gotta love competence.
Yeah, she is super capable. When she beat them up, it got filmed and all the humans ran so she tried to free the androids but they’re not programmed to obey her. So the most she could do was mercy-kill some of the malfunctioning ones that had been so damaged from being beaten up.
Oh sob, noes.
Then this private force interrupted her so she had to find a way out. She put a nail through the hand of the one of the guys with a nail gun :-D. She’s filled with righteous fury and it’s amazing.
Laura was going to return Anita to the retailer but Mattie drove off with her because she had been in contact with Leo who wanted to get Mia (who is Anita’s real identity) back.
Hoo boy … THEN, when she got back home, she was looking through the results of the diagnostic and saw that Anita’s adult mode had been activated. Because she knew that her brother, Toby has a hard-on for Anita, she confronted him about it. Then Laura came into the room, and he admitted it! Even though it wasn’t him. Obviously he figured out it was his dad, who eventually admitted it to Laura. Anyway, she kicked him out because of that and because he was pushing her about this ‘Tom’ person whom he had overheard Anita asking Laura about.
Laura eventually opened up to Mattie about who Tom was (her brother who died as a child whilst under her care). THEN when Laura and Mattie were driving home with Anita, Anita suddenly freaked the fuck out and it was Mia fighting through the Anita programming. So they realised that she really does have feelings, which Toby has told his lame dad to make sure he knows how fucked up it was that he ‘had sex’ with Anita.
Poor Anita the android has been through it all. Fail males.
She really has. Mattie got Leo and Max to come over and help wake Mia up again so now Mia is reunited with them. It turns out she is like a mother to Leo. The assumption the audience and Mattie have had until this point was that they were lovers, so this was a pleasant twist.
Okay, mother-son twist is nice. That’s rare.
Indeed. The backstory is that the four special, conscious androids were kept secret but when their creator died, Leo went on the run with them because they would be in danger if anyone discovered them. But Mia, Niska, and Fred were captured by people who illegally modify androids and then were sold on. So Fred ended up in manual labour, Niska in sex work, and Mia was reprogrammed and packaged as a domestic unit.
Sophie, you’ve got me so damn invested, it’s unreal. My poor babies.
They’re all like brothers and sisters to Leo, except Mia who is more like his mother. They’re an adorable android family.
❤ this story.
So Mia has been reunited with Leo and Max now and they’re in contact with Niska but they have not yet found Fred who has spent most of the time captured but has now escaped in a really cool sequence.
Goddamnit I am in the thick of thesis work and Thailand prep but I want to watch this right now.
Also there is a dickhead detective who suuuuuper resents androids and his partner is secretly some weird type of android.
MEANWHILE, my baby Niska was sent by Leo to lay low for a bit with Dr Millican, who has figured out what she is, and he’s helping her navigate her emotions.
Old Doctor guy is the best.
Also, you will be happy: malfunctioning android Odi returned! Somehow without being seen, he returned from the woods and arrived at the house and collapsed on the doorstep, reunited with his owner, so Niska helped start him up again.
YES, RETURN OF MY BABY ANDROID!
Okay, I’m going to resume watching now.
Leo and Max have been contacted by their brother Fred and are on their way to meet him whilst Mia stays with the family, which was Laura’s idea because she wants to help them. But her fucking lame husband who was lurking outside has reported Leo and Max to the police because he’s ‘worried’. Uggggh, idiot.
Also, the insecure idiot detective slept with his android partner, Karen. She initiated it. He won’t be happy when he finds out what she is.
The more she appears in this the weirder she gets. Everything she says makes sense if you know that she’s an android but otherwise makes her sound either socially awkward, super innocent, or really forward.
Ha, okay, she just started charging in front of her partner, and he just thinks she’s playing a prank on him. I don’t know why she left it until after they had sex to tell him.
Like I said, he’s not impressed. He literally ran away still putting his trousers back on.
Noooo, I hate lame dad! He has a lot to answer for!
Is Lame Dad Joe the worst? Should Karen maybe have told Pete what she was before taking their relationship to the next level? Did you do a celebratory dance when Odi finally returned to George? And how badass was Mattie when she shut down the boys at the party? Share your thoughts below!